Fun at the airport

Wednesday (Hugh)

If you have to catch a flight with my dear wife, there is one thing that you need to know. She likes to be last onto the plane.

If, against protocol, your taxi delivers you in good time at the airport, you must initially spend that time milling around aimlessly looking at shops. The indication “go to gate” is a signal to sit down at a café or bar, depending on the time of day, and order something that will take some time to cook. Once the family is safely ensconced in this position, you remember that something of great importance is required for the flight or the trip – perhaps a book, or on this occasion, a Nintendo DS game. Leave your husband helpless, with all the bags and at least one child. Ensure that your ‘phone is switched off so that you are completely uncontactable other than via tannoy. As the clock winds down, return eventually to the family, ambling slowly, perhaps texting a friend as you stroll, to find your husband in a state of helpless stress. You then join him in the headlong dash for the plane.

But this is my sabbatical, an opportunity for me to unwind from the pressures of work, business travel and the daily grind. I am determined to be unconcerned during this trip, no stress for me. All arrangements will lie in my wife’s hands – I will follow meekly and muted, “high” and chilled out on a permanent weekend.

But I couldn’t do it. I snapped early, I’m sorry. I was in (on) the loo when the tannoy announced that our flight was closing. Thank God for my limited German. For anyone watching, it would have been inspired comedy, my running headlong from the bog with the door swinging, pulling up my trousers on the run yelling instructions ahead to pick up our possessions and run for it. Sarah and Jemima led the way, then me with Whizz and Monty, two packs and a guitar.

We made it, of course, we always do, but I’m taking charge again. We have 16 more flights to take on this trip, and I don’t have enough adrenaline to cover all of them.

Thursday (Jemima)

We woke up at 4:30 in American time as it would be around 9:30 in the morning in England. We took lots of pictures for our first proper day, here is one of them. Had breakfast at 5:00 as we had an early plane to Puerto Ordaz, then Canaima on another plane to go and see Angel falls in a boat. As probably you know Angel falls is the highest water fall ever recorded in the whole world. Angel Falls is 979 metres high (almost 1 kilometre!) and was named after the America pilot, Jimmie Angel, who flew over it in 1937 only to crash onto the top of Auyantepuy. Unscathed, he, his wife and two fellow passengers decided to descend the Carrao river and 11 days later managed to regain contact with civilisation. We are hoping to re-enact his adventure.