Preparations ever more furious

I wonder whether this industrious blog beginning will continue. Probably not. There will certainly be fewer boring train rides. If it does, I hope that it does not become any more toe-curlingly embarrassing than its very existence necessitates.

Today was my (Hugh) last day in the office and characterised by the usual succession of events - spent the morning rubbing shoulders with attractive celebrities, long lunch, then a massage and snooze in my chair, followed by a couple of pints. The final bit is in fact true - picked up a stash of drugs in the Hole in the Wall from a medic friend to sustain us should disease hit the team; now heading home for tearful farewells from Goodfellows senior. We're only going for 10 weeks for goodness sake.

Schedule for the next few days:

0800 Tuesday - meet Jemima's teacher for "hot wash-up" following recent exams. No doubt an exhilirating reinforcement of our investment in the private school system;

High noon - sign last will and testament in front of local solicitor who cannot understand how one can get to 40 and not have previously considered death in any of its forms. She should have come climbing in Slovenia last June, that would have taken the colour out of her face;

0755 Wednesday - depart Luftwaffe flight to Caracas via Frankfurt;

1630 local time - arrive Caracas. Immediately hijacked;

0730 Thursday - transfer to Puerto Ordaz;

0930 - transfer to Canaima. If the skies are clear then we will "enjoy a stunning landscape of open savannah, stands of open forest and flat table mountains called tepuys." If the skies are not clear, then we will wonder what the hell we are doing here.

Upon arrival we will be taken to the Waku lodge beside the "beautiful Canaima lagoon". In the afternoon we will be taken across the Canaima lagoon by boat. Presumably, if we are still all together at this stage, this is one of the first of many opportunities the children will have to test the local health & safety arrangements. The next obvious opportunity comes only the next day, when we have the chance to walk behind the El Tapo waterfall in soft shoes.

For film buffs, I think this might be the place that the last of the mohicans attempted to eradicate his race entirely, having failed to hide successfully from the bad guys, but I could be wrong. No doubt it is a safe place to take small children though.

Reached Witley now, so must pack up. Won't miss the commute chaps.